The question is one with which many parents struggle. Most mothers and fathers want to trust their children, but given the dangers lurking online, that trust often must be tempered with caution. Even the most innocent activities can expose a child to dangerous malware, inappropriate content, and potential predators. Decisions regarding Internet use and monitoring ultimately lie with the parents, but a few common-sense guidelines will ensure that those decisions are both effective and reasonable.

The approach depends on the age of the child. Young children are generally naive and should have stricter controls than teenagers. As they mature, children will begin to require a measure of privacy, but that doesn't mean that they should be given carte blanche. In all cases, education is the first line of defense. Children need age-appropriate information on acceptable use and how to react to danger. Parents need to educate themselves, as well, on the characteristics of Internet culture and the fundamentals of online security.

Teens and older children may know what is expected of them, yet they lack the ability to make sound decisions. This poor judgment combined with a desire for secrecy can be dangerous. However, parents have a right to know what their kids are doing, what accounts they create, with whom they interact, and what information they post. Any information placed in the public domain—blog entries, MySpace profiles, forum posts, etc.—is fair game. Use search engines to find items referencing their names and any known aliases.

Parents cannot always be present, and even if they could, they may not be able to prevent an incident from occurring. Various technical controls can and should be implemented to reduce the risk; however, these solutions are not substitutes for clear policies and honest communication. A technically-savvy teenager can easily bypass filtering software with a web-based proxy or reconfigure a firewall to remove parental controls. Any preventive measure is useless if the child accesses his or her account from a friend's home.

However, monitoring and auditing are key elements of maintaining a secure network, although some forms of monitoring are more invasive than others. Few would question the wisdom of maintaining firewall access logs, placing restrictions on accounts, or using filtering software. More draconian measures, such as reading personal email or using keyloggers, likely should be reserved for those instances in which a problem is suspected and for which no other solution exists.

As with most parenting decisions, there are no easy answers. What may work for some will have disastrous effects for others. Whatever solution is used, the expectations, responsibilities, and consequences must be communicated clearly. As the children learn and apply good online habits, they will begin to earn the trust that they and their parents desire. Although when the safety of a child is at stake, one of Ronald Reagan's favorite Russian proverbs comes to mind. Doveriai, no proveriai. Trust, but verify.